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For want of a plot...

Kanchana Suggu

A brutal murder. A killer on the loose. The police can't finalise on a suspect, so the case is closed. Then reopened. More suspects. Mysterious phone calls. Interrogations. Third degree torture… And yet, no rivetting film.

For director Esmayeel Shroff has forgotten a small but vital element on which the foundation of a film must necessarily be based. The P-L-O-T!

Which is why Tarkieb falters. And falters badly. Not even the stars (and there are many of them) can save the film!

Set in and around a military hospital in Bhopal, the film begins with recovery of a mercilessly chopped body in a lake. The corpse is later identified as that of a young woman, Roshni (Tabu). All this, within a gripping five minutes of the credits rolling across the screen. And you are at the edge of your seat. Is this gonna be another 100 Days? We, at least, hoped so.

Half-an-hour later, our hopes lay shattered at our feet. You cringed in your seat, then you groaned and much, much before the film is over -- you have, by this time, no desire to know who the murderer is -- you only want to escape. But, since you have to review the film, you sit glued to your seat and watch the other people walk out.

After all, there is just so much you can take of tacky camerawork, slack editing, poor cinematography, unnecessary songs, forced humour and Milind Soman's eternal hamming!

Tabu, a nurse in a military hospital, exists only in flashback as the rest of the characters bring to life her sorry existence. Which, for your elucidation, we shall paraphrase here.

Father, three younger sisters, no mom. In love with Doctor Major Ajit Verma (Milind Soman). Who, in turn, loves her. Good friends with Preeti (Shilpa Shetty), also a nurse at the same hospital. Father seeing her staring moonstruck at Milind pic, thinks she has selected boy for younger sis.

Tragedy-struck Tabu asks Milind to marry sis. Milind gallantly refuses. Tabu flirts with loose-charactered Major Doctor Kamal Dogra (Ashutosh Rana) in order to help Milind change his mind.

And, before you know it, she's quit the hospital and signed up with businessman Mohan Multani (Aditya Panchsoli) as a governess for his children. After which, of course, she gets murdered.

The only saving grace in the film comes in the form of star CBI officer Jasraj Patel (Nana Patekar) and his sidekick, Gangaram (Tiku Talsania). No one else is worth a mention except, of course, Milind Soman. What would he have done if he wasn't good-looking?

A word of advice. He will do himself a world of good if he keeps his mouth shut -- his dialogue delivery is, at best, pitiful.

The only other positive point in the film is the Jagjit Singh-Alka Yagnik number, Tera chehra dekh kar. The song is picturised well and Milind and Tabu do look good together.

The rest of the songs are not only eminently forgettable but also totally unnecessary. Tujhe dhoondoon mein, in particular, takes the cake. The song looks good in the promos, but its timing couldn't have been worse. Adesh Shrivastava sure wasn't at his creative best while composing music for this film.

And if we weren't subjected to enough torment already, even the murderer turns out to be a disappointment. As does his reason for the dastardly act.

To cut a long story short, Tarkieb is… well, pathetic. Going by the way it began, it could have been a good thriller. Unfortunately, it isn't.