It is an axiom that competition leads to better service, lower prices and generally higher product quality. This is not true in the Indian context. Instead of competitors raising the bar, we will devolve to a situation where they benchmark at the lowest common denominator.

Or so I'm led to believe by my experiences with two of India's leading telecom service providers. Recently, I went through a shift of residence. This involves transfer of phone lines, gas agencies, bank addresses and so on.

Given that the new address was 300 metres from the old place, I assumed the phones would be easily transferred. The numbers remained the same; the lines stay on the same exchanges. It is a matter of coupling new wires, and shifting jumpers.

At the time of the shift, I had four landlines -- two MTNL [Get Quote], two Airtel, one of which is a broadband ADSL connection. About four working days before I shifted, I called up both companies and inquired about transfer procedures.

MTNL allows one to download a transfer form from its website. This is to be filled in and attested by a gazetted officer, who certifies that the subscriber is who he says he is, that he has signed the form on the day he says he has and so on.

Then this is to be submitted to the correct office. After the rigmarole is completed, the wheels go around. Linesmen land up in due time and connect the phones at the new address.

Then the subscriber waits for the phones to be "energised". Instead, in my case, outgoing calls were cut off for "non-payment of bills". It is irrelevant that the bills have actually been paid.

The cut-off happened on Id and, thus, it was impossible to contact the area accounts officer as the recorded message says I should. Nor could I dial 198 -- outgoing is cut off and 198 is inaccessible except from an MTNL landline with outgoing facilities.

The day after Id (Saturday), I genuflect at the area accounts office. I am assured a mistake has occurred and outgoing facilities will be restored by Saturday evening. I am writing this on Tuesday and the outgoing facilities have not yet been restored on either phone. Will MTNL take a week's worth of rentals off my next bills? I doubt it.

What of the Airtel lines? The transfer is easier. It doesn't involve the good offices of gazetted officers. I must send a fax or email.

I fax and email on January 12, and receive an emailed autoreply saying "We value your patronage, blah-blah and we'll get in touch in 48 hours". Just in case, I make a verbal request to customer-care; I am assured that it will be taken care of and exhorted to "have a nice day".

Nobody gets in touch. Over the next three days, I send email reminders and receive more auto-responses. I phone customer-care five times and receive more cheery exhortations to have nice days. On the day I shift, I disconnect the DSL equipment myself, and finally, I visit a customer care centre. The 11 requests I have made over six days by fax/ e-mail/ voice, none of them have been logged!

On the 19th, the Airtel phones are wired. The lines are energised on the 22nd -- for three days, they remain hi-tech paperweights because of some screw-up at the exchange. When I complain (verbally), I am told the earlier complaints were not logged for lack of a "reference number". It is only on the seventh call to the helpline that a customer-care rep informs me that I must always ask for a reference number.

My wife and I both work out of home. We aspire to slightly higher customer-care standards than India's telecom service providers and we can't afford to stay offline for weeks. So, we make alternative arrangements.