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Seeta Aur Geeta

The more things change, the more they remain the same. We now have a new government, a new Cabinet, a new prime minister in place. But the tragedy is that they all look exactly the same as the earlier lot. Which means we are moving inexorably towards a two party system where both groups look, feel, stink alike. Where the voter chooses between two coalitions not exactly different from each other. Even though they pretend to be so.

Both are driven by the same compulsions of realpolitik. Both swear by the same shibboleths and end up doing exactly the opposite of what they preach. Both conjure images of what they would like to be seen as. Yet, in reality, both bear a remarkable resemblance to each other. They are the Seeta aur Geeta of our politics. Whereas each group sees itself as the good guys and the other as the bad guys, the people of India find them equally revolting. Because both are driven by the same base instincts.

That is why, if you look at the way India votes, you will see that one half tries to vote one coalition into power. The other half tries to vote the other into power. As a result, Parliament is riven right down the middle. In Pramod Mahajan's memorable words, a time has come when no MP can go to the loo without fearing that his absence might bring the government toppling down.

This means: Any part of either coalition can easily disengage and attach itself to the other coalition without the slightest embarrassment. For a few pieces of silver exchanging hands. Or for a few promises that may or may not be kept. Or, better still, any part of any coalition can suddenly decide to abstain from voting and drop its own government without batting an eyelid. When the next coalition comes to power, it can then take credit for the change and seek a larger presence in the new formation. Without, I may add, the slightest remorse or pang of conscience.

Let us look at the new Cabinet and you will see what I mean.

Buta Singh, the new minister for communications, is famous for more than his colourful turbans. He has several CBI cases against him for bribery and corruption. That is why he did not get a Congress ticket and was forced to fight as an Independent. On winning, he offered to join both sides. Both were happy to co-opt him but the BJP enhanced its numbers in Parliament by making him a Cabinet minister. So much for its professed commitment to clean governance.

Singh replaces yet another colourful minister for communications. Sukh Ram. Yes, the famous Sukh Ram who was caught with millions of rupees in cash lying in his official bungalow, wrapped in plastic sheets and bedcovers. This was part of the huge amounts he demanded from all those who came to him for telecom licences and other favours. So embarrassed was the Congress by his brazen corruption that it had no option but to kick him out. After abusing him day after day in Parliament, the BJP is now wooing Sukh Ram because of the few MLA seats he has in Himachal Pradesh which could add to its post election arithmetics in the state.

But why Buta Singh and Sukh Ram? The best example is Jayalalitha. Both sides are desperately wooing her because Amma and her allies add up to 27 MPs in the fractured Lok Sabha. That is why she bargained hard and finally got six crucial ministries. Three of them with Cabinet rank.

M Thambidurai, the new law and justice minister, has already declaimed -- within 24 hours of the swearing in -- that his Supreme Leader is innocent of all the crimes registered against her. Luckily for India and not so luckily for Jayalalitha, before R Janarthanam, minister of state for personnel, public grievances and pensions could armtwist the CBI to go easy on her, Home Minister L K Advani, in a sudden declaration of independence, hijacked the CBI portfolio from him. Rumours say that Amma is hopping mad.

What can she do? Well, she can easily switch over to the other side. The Congress-UF combination may make the usual noises against corruption but they will be the first to welcome her. Simply because she has, today, better numbers than the DMK. No wonder Sonia Gandhi is holding long meetings with her to arrive at some workable understanding.

If you believe Kanshi Ram, Mayawati was offered identical terms. Come, join our coalition, said the BJP, and we will remove all the corruption cases against you and make you home minister as well. But the BSP refused. It is now trying to cobble together an equally unprincipled coalition with the Congress and the UF. If it had done this earlier -- before the election took place -- they could have, together, swept UP. But, at that time, all three of them were like puffed up toads, refusing to speak to each other and believing that each of them can, in isolation, defeat the BJP.

But it is not just unscrupled alliances and corrupt ministers that make both the BJP and the Congress, UF alliance look alike. They both swear by things they can never offer India. The BJP promises a clean and stable government. It can give neither. It woos the corrupt, compromises with the venal, makes dirty, unscrupulous deals with those who have brought politics to such a sorry pass. The UP government is a shining example of how unprincipled it can be. Crooks, criminals, history sheeters are part of the BJP ministry. Just as the Union government has several ministers accused of corruption, graft, land grab, hawala.

The Congress also swears by stability and a clean government. But it fielded an equally loathsome lot of criminals and crooks, many of whom, luckily for India, were booted out by the electorate. Its apologies at election time sounded totally phoney and if it were not for the fact that people were sick and tired of governments that were not strong enough to survive in office, they would have fared far worse than they actually did.

Today, both sides are brushing up on their Dale Carnegie. Trying to win friends and influence allies in a way such that they can improve their numbers in Parliament and pretend they are capable of offering a more stable government than the other. Frankly, neither can. Neither can offer a more stable government because both are compromised, corrupted. Both are ready to sleep with the devil.

That is why we have reached exactly where we always wanted to be. Where we have two parties vying for power, as in the United States. Two sets of coalitions with bits and pieces always ready to break away and join the other. There is no ideology that holds them together. No principles. Hindutva is as washed up as Socialism. Secularism means nothing to either side. What they both seek is power and pelf.

That is why Jaswant Singh failed to make it as finance minister. The lobby against him was far too strong. And the stakes were far too high. The new prime minister ended up exactly where he began. As a prisoner. A prisoner caught up in the politics of compromise. Compromise masquerading as consensus.

Pritish Nandy