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July 17, 1999
COLUMNISTS
DIARY
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The South-Asian Woman's
List of Good Resolutions
Like Anjana Appachana and Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, Shauna Singh Baldwin
and her friend Bisakha Sen, a professor of economics (and a would be
novelist), are immersed in feminist issues. Here are some of the
resolutions
they expect South Asian women to adopt.
1. I resolve not to apologize for existing.
2. I resolve not to apologize to men (unless I have really done something
wrong).
3. I will make a distinction between myself and my family.
4. I do not need to be married to be happy or dutiful.
5. I do not need children to be happy or dutiful.
6. I do not need a son to be happy or dutiful.
7. I will not avoid discussions about money.
8. I will not criticize other women so as to blame the victim of sexual
harassment or sexual assault. "She was wearing tight-tight jeans," "She is
too mod."
9. I will support other women. Each one, teach one to be economically and
emotionally self-sufficient.
10. I resolve not to betray my daughter into the arms of the patriarchy
"for
her own good."
11. I will evacuate any toxic environment that threatens my mental or
physical safety.
12. I will take responsibility for my decisions and ask no one for pity.
13. I will not value a man based solely/primarily on his capacity as
provider.
14. I will not cringe when stating that I make more than my husband.
15. I will not cringe at the thought of being the primary breadwinner of
the
family.
16. I will not sneer at men who are more sentimental than I am.
17. I will not push my son towards a stereotypical career any more than I
do
my daughter.
18. I will not die if my daughter chooses a mate who's in a "feminine"
profession.
19. I will understand the pain of a man trapped in an unhappy career
because
he is compelled to be the sole provider for his family.
20. I WILL criticize the woman who cribs because her husband is not
maintaining her in the style she would like to be maintained.
21. I will never use phrases like "Isn't he supposed to be a man" or "He
isn't taking it like a man," or make comments about who wears the pants in
the family.
22. I will accept that a man can be sexually harassed by a woman.
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